I got these two tiny handbooks when i was on holiday in scotland in some obscure souvenir shop in the middle of some old highland battlefield. Just rediscovered them on my shelf today and thought i'd share some of the interesting bits of these books.
These two books were apparently written by a woman in 1913 and they republished it from a copy from the british library. For a woman in those times, the writer has incredibly modern thoughts despite conforming to social stereotypes of being a nuturer and caregiver as a traditional wife.
DON'TS FOR HUSBANDS:
-Don't fail to treat your wife with respect. Let there be nothing of the high and mighty suggestion that a mere woman can't possibly unerstand things. There are even realms in which you can look up to her as owning superior knowledge, and there are none in which she is to be despised.
-Don't talk down to your wife. She has as much intelligence as your colleague at the office ; she lacks only the opportunity.
-Don't say a married woman doesn't want to go back to school because your wife wishes to attend language classes or lectures, or take lessons in singing and dancing. Let her do any or all of these things, and be thankful that she finds so much that interests her. She will be a much brighter companion than a stick-at-home wife.
DONTS FOR WIVES:
-Don't let your husband feel that you are a 'dear little woman', but no good intellectually. If you find yourself getting stale, wake up your brain. Let there be nothing your husband can talk about that you will be unable to understand
-Don't be talked down by your husband when you want to express your views on any subject. You have a right to be heard
For a woman of that time, the author must have been rather enlighted on gender equality as well as intelligent and well educated in order to write this book. Although many don'ts that she wrote about appear trivial, they are in fact many of the obstacles that couples face in life. Furthermore, her corresponding books for both men and women strive to make both genders work hard at their relationship, instead of women being burdened by the task of improving communication.
Aside from the more serious 'don'ts' posted above, here are some of the others just for humour's sake.
-for husbands: don't scowl or look severe. cultivate a pleasant expression if nature hasn't blessed you with one
-for husbands: don't omit to cultivate a sense of humour. It will carry you safely past many a danger-signal at home.
-for wives: don't expect your husband to be an angel. You would get very tired of him if he were.
